Maybe you don't know this, but the Cambodian "trade" in SoCal is selling donuts, running donut shops.
I've been fascinated by this fact since I heard about it a few months ago, but have yet to meet a donut-selling Cambodian. So that's my goal for this next week. I will go to donut shop after donut shop until I meet a Cambodian! I mean I'm not gonna devote my week to it...I'm just gonna make an effort.
I've really enjoyed learning about the culture and reading about it, but I want to talk to some Cambodians! I would love to make some Cambodian friends in San Diego before I leave. Even if that means just buying a donut and having a 5-minute conversation. And I love donuts, so it's kind of two-for-one.
I had the opportunity this past week to talk with two missionaries who are associated with my church. We talked mostly about culture shock and adjusting to the Cambodian culture. It was a great reminder that even though a lot of my adjustment and growth will be "learn-as-I-go", I can still try my best to educate myself on the culture now.
Here are some cool things that I have learned about Cambodian culture so far...
--It is highly disrespectful to show anyone the soles of your feet. It's like wishing death upon them....good to know beforehand....wouldn't wanna do that.
--Although most Asian languages are tonal, Khmer (pronounced "Kah-my") is not tonal. But it still ain't no Spanish.
--There is no McDonald's in Cambodia (yet). Shucks. But they do have KFC (Khmer Fried Chicken). I hope they have the biscuits.
--Cambodia is 14 hours ahead of the Pacific time zone.
--Cambodia has a constitutional monarchy, and the king lives in Phnom Penh. Maybe we will see him someday!
--Although Cambodia is a country with extreme poverty, they also have some beautiful architecture. This is a picture of the Royal Palace in Phnom Penh, the capital...
Stay posted...I will keep you updated on my quest for donuts.
I want to share something that I love about support raising and this season of preparing for Cambodia.
I've met with a number of people and shared about what my team is gonna be doing in Cambodia. To explain the problem of sex trafficking in Cambodia, how prostitution destroys the women's sense of identity, and how our vision is to help these women and show them the love of Jesus.
What I love is when people see beyond what I see. When they ask me questions about how I'm preparing for the emotional impact that the bar scene will have on me, or what I'll do when I wanna sock a man in the face for treating one of my new friends like a piece of meat.
Or how when I share the statistics about sex trafficking and how the women we'll be ministering to in the bars have literally no other options for survival, people get what that means, on a heart level. Sometimes more than I do myself.
It means so much to me that people care. And I see the heart of God in people as they ask questions and express that they are so glad that we're going and doing this ministry.
Thanks to all my supporters who care and who are willing to sacrifice to support me. I am so grateful! You not only are helping me get to Cambodia, your support, encouragement and prayers are helping prepare me for what's ahead. Thanks so much.
I just wanted to post an update to let everyone know about how my support raising is going...
I have about half of my support so far. Our team goal is to have 100% of our support raised by September 25th...in less than 5 weeks.
If I was to compare this support raising journey to anything I've done before, it would be the half-marathon I ran last year. I struggled, I felt like dying, I was exhausted the last mile, but it was awesome.
My friend Mike paced me for the last half of the race. I told him what pace I wanted to run at, but he set a faster pace. My legs might have carried me across the finish line, but not without Mike's presence and encouragement throughout the last half of the race to push me.
Well, I am in need of prayer and encouragement at this point in raising my support. I can't do it alone! I am learning more and more that I am one to do things myself, but especially as I get ready to leave for Cambodia, I need to be seeking support from...my support team. Please keep me and my teammates in your prayers as we continue to raise our support and prepare. Thanks!
I feel like I haven't been clear about why I'm going to Cambodia...with other people or with myself. So I wanna try and explain.
I started my application process to go to Cambodia last November. Yea, this has been a long process. I applied because a friend encouraged me to, because it sounded "cool" and fit with things I'm passionate about...helping hurting people and adventure. There was no voice from God and no signs in the clouds that this was IT (haha trust me...I looked for them).
Most of this process has felt like I chose to do this. And yea, I applied, I said yes and committed and all that, but I don't think this is just based on my decision to apply and commit. All that was just my willingness. After months of confirmation, I believe God is calling me to go.
After going to a Christian university, sadly the concept of God calling people to do things has sounded cliche after hearing people refer to it about anything and everything. So I've been wary to acknowledge or talk about how God is "calling" me to Cambodia. It's kind of sad that certain truths in my faith are avoided or lost because there is a fear of sounding cliche. I hate that :( Truth is still truth, even if it has lost its originality. And I never wanna get "tired" of hearing it.
God really took me on a journey this week. Here is a bit about what He is teaching me...These next two years in Cambodia aren't mine, they're His. And He is calling me to do HIS work there. Up to this point in preparing, I haven't really thought much of that. Like duh, I'm a missionary, of course I'm going over there to do God's work, and it's not just a humanitarian/peace corps-type deal. But really, God is teaching me that going to Cambodia is not just about having "churchy opportunities" (Nacho Libre), but is about surrendering my priorities and my will to let God do His thing. And that's not specific to Cambodia either, that's life! You might say all that sounds cliche...good. Maybe that means I'm going in the right direction :)
I am still in the support raising process, looking for supporters! Please contact me if you would like to join my prayer team, or click here if you would like to support me financially. I would love to have you on my team!
I've been debating what to put on my blog during my pre-Cambodia time. Once I'm in Cambodia, I'll of course be posting stories, pictures and maybe even some videos. But I'm realizing that now is an important time too, to post what I'm learning, even though sometimes it feels like I am just waiting for Cambodia and partially ignoring the present. I've been realizing that my life in Cambodia is not separate from my life right now. Life is going on right now. This is the season of preparation. I am preparing to live in a foreign country, to learn a new language, and to hang out in the bars of Phnom Penh with my teammates and soon-to-be Cambodian friends.
I've been doing my best to prepare for the culture and for our ministry. Trying to read books on the culture and watch videos online about sex trafficking in Cambodia. Videos done by missionaries doing similar bar ministry in Thailand have probably been the most helpful to me as far as getting a glimpse of what it will be like for me and my team. Check this one out.
I've been frustrated as I've talked about the ministry we'll be doing and feeling like there's no feeling of compassion or sorrow attached to me sharing about the injustices that these women face. But I'm realizing more and more that I won't fully comprehend the heaviness of it all until I'm there, seeing and experiencing it with my own five senses. It feels good to acknowledge that. Books and the internet can only take us so far.
I've rethought my definition of passion since I've committed to Cambodia. I don't think passion is so much an emotional thing, than it is a deeper thing, a heart thing. Emotions come and go. They're a part of being passionate about something, but I think passion has deeper roots. And when you're passionate about something, you stick to it, even when you don't feel the same about it throughout whatever you're doing. It's easy to follow our passions when they are driven by emotions, but the bottom line is that the passions we are given are rooted in the purposes that God gives us to serve Him and to serve others. And that's why we follow them. It's been reassuring to realize that as I've felt guilty for not feeling passionate about reaching the women in Cambodia.
Sidenote/update: My team has pushed our departure date back to early October due to support raising going slower than expected. Peace an blessings.
This past week, I went on a roadtrip from Oklahoma to California with my teammate Amarja. She was working at a camp out in Missouri, so she invited me to fly out and drive back home to California with her. We had an awesome couple days together. And this was just the beginning of our adventures together!
Monday night I flew into Tulsa, Oklahoma, where Amarja and her friend Rebecca picked me up. Stayed at Rebecca's house that night. Awesome.
Tuesday morning we hit the road. By crazy coincidence, Amarja's friend Margaret from home was in Oklahoma city and offered to take us out to the Cracker Barrel (one of my fav restaurants!). It was awesome to meet her and sit down for a real meal.
We had no idea where we were gonna stay that night. We called 7 churches in the Albuquerque area to see if they had any families who'd be willing to house some missionaries for the night. One church came through for us! We stayed with an awesome family, the Trujillo's, who were so hospitable and fun. They even took us site seeing the next day! We can now say we have friends in New Mexico :)
Wednesday, after some cool site seeing in Albuquerque, we hit the road, planning on driving all the way to back to Cali that day. Nope...change of plans. After driving through beautiful Flagstaff, Amarja insisted we look at the map to see where the Grand Canyon is. I thought it was super far away, but it turned out to be just an hour away. "Let's do it!!" So we arrived just before sunset to see the beautiful GC. Breathtaking. I loved it. I felt like we weren't even in America. I was blown away by its expansiveness. We parked at a campground, had leftover Cracker Barrel biscuits and jelly for dinner, hung out for a bit, then slept in the car :) Not so comfortable, but only $10 to camp there. Can't beat that.
Thursday, we hit up McDonalds for breakfast, where we met a family of believers who were really friendly and encouraging. Then we spent a few hours doing some hiking down into the canyon, which was beautiful. No words to describe this, and the pictures don't do it justice.
After our hike, we decided it was time to hit the road. Our car ride from Arizona into Redlands was AMAZING. We stayed at Amarja's house for the night. It was awesome to see her hometown and hear some stories of her growing up.
Friday we met up with my sister Annie in Long Beach at a Cambodian restaurant to finish off our week of adventure. We wanted to talk to some Cambodians, but it didn't really happen. Not much of a "cultural experience", but the food was good :)
"Cambodian finger puppets"...aka Annie's lunch. She ate the eyes!
Our first Cambodian meal of many!
In the words of my friend Julia Gulia, "life's an adventure". Amarja and I left Oklahoma with not a plan in mind. We bought bread and PB&J at Walmart and hit the road not knowing what would happen next. Literally every part of our trip was an adventure. I loved every minute of it. And I loved to see that Amarja and I share a heart for challenge and adventure. Watch out Cambodia!
I've been blown away by nature before, but never like this. I can't explain it, but I think this verse depicts what I felt this week...I'll leave it at that.
"And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the whisper we hear of him! Who then can understand the thunder of his power?" Job 26:14 (thanks Sammy)
Since committing to go to Cambodia, the issue of safety has come up a lot. I've thought about it, talked about it extensively with people, and wrestled with it. And I'll continue to do so.
What my team and I are about to go and do in Cambodia is not considered "safe" by most people. Because we're girls, we're young, we're going into a foreign country, into bars...the list goes on. These are all valid safety concerns. I totally agree that they are. And know that safety is definitely a priority to our team.
But I think there comes a point when we are called to take risks. And hear me...I'm not talking about recklessness or being rash. I'm saying that I know (and I know you do too) that there are more important things in life than our safety.
This past May I felt led to share my testimony in one of my classes during a presentation I was to give. This was a huge risk for me...not for my physical safety, but it was an emotional risk. Before this, I had only shared it with a few of my closest friends. I was scared out of my mind even in rehearsing for this thing. My legs were shaking like crazy as I sat in my kitchen rehearsing it till 4am. I was an emotional wreck up to about an hour before my class. I can't even begin to explain to you what God did that day when I shared. How He used it. The freedom I felt in sharing my story. The risk was totally worth it. I felt alive.
Yea, Cambodia is a much bigger risk than sharing my testimony in front of a class. It's not even the same kind of risk; but it still taught me something about risk-taking. I learned that I experience true life and true faith in Jesus when I step out of "safety".
Part of me is hungry for risk because I know what comes with it. I know that's where we step out of our safe little bubbles and God changes us and uses us.
Why should we care about sex trafficking injustices?
It seems like our natural response to the problem of sex trafficking is to distance ourselves. Maybe because we feel helpless because the problem is just too big; or because it doesn't affect us personally.
But I think it's important to ask, "why should we care?" and to think about how and why we should respond.
There's a reason why the statistics and stories about girls being trafficked and sexually abused stir us and maybe even make us feel nautious. We are innately compassionate and caring beings...there's something in us that feels compelled to bring these girls freedom from being repeatedly abused and violated. There's something instinctive in us that says we ought to protect them. We innately crave justice.
A lot of times in school I'd get so overwhelmed with simultaneous assignments that I'd feel paralyzed, unable to actually do any single assignment. I think the problem of sex trafficking can make us feel like that a lot of times. It's so big, its roots are so deep, there are so many girls affected by it...where do we even begin?
My teammates and I are going to be meeting some of these girls face to face. Talking with them, befriending them, offering them hope in Jesus and a way out of prostitution.
Supporting me financially is a tangible way that you can be involved in responding to these injustices. I'm being called to respond and I know some of you are being called to join me. The time has passed where apathy dictates our responses...let us be people of action!
If 30 people commit to support me $50/month, then I will be fully funded for the two years I'm in Cambodia. Even if you can give some other monthly amount or a one-time donation, everything helps!
If you'd like to support me, click here...adventures.org/give (then click on AIM staff).
Today I rode my bike past this line of kids from the local middle school walking to the park on a fieldtrip. I felt sorry for them having to follow their teacher and carry their little backpacks. And there I was free as a bird, cruisin on my bike. For the first time, as I passed by these kids today, I rejoiced in my freedom from school...and it felt good to be free.
Life always seems so simple when I'm on my bike. Maybe it's the breeze in my hair, or just that life seems slower and easier to understand and appreciate. I love it, even though it's a struggle in jeans.
I love the freedom so far. It's nice to realize that there is life beyond school, since that's all I've known for years and years. Being free is hard though. Structure gives you purpose and goals within it, so being taken out of it can come as a shock. That's where I feel I'm at right now.
I bet a lot of the women we'll be interacting with in Cambodia will struggle with freedom even more so. If prostitution is all they know, freedom from that is gonna seem scary and overwhelming. Structure and routine bring us comfort and security, so we cling to them, sometimes even if they're not good for us.
I'm slowly learning to appreciate my freedom and the start of a new season of life. When I take a step back, I'm in awe of the cool place God has me in and where He's taking me. The past couple months have been a whirlwind, as I've realized that God trusts me with something this huge. Now that the idea of going to Cambodia is finally settling in, my mind is wandering to questions about where my heart's really at and if I'm really ready to go...
What are my motives in going to Cambodia? Is my heart burning for these women? Am I passionate about reaching them the way that God is? Is my ultimate goal to bring God glory or just to make a difference in the lives of these women?
When I really wrestle with these questions, I'm disappointed and frustrated with the answers I find within myself. How I wish I was "ready" to go to Cambodia, to do this ministry, and to love these women as God does.
Then I have moments like I had tonight, where God reminds me that He's got the details under control. He's not expecting us to have it all together or to understand the big picture. That includes my motives and my heart for Cambodia. I was encouraged by a teammate's blog tonight as she talked about how God doesn't let us see the big picture, but how cool it is that He wants us to rely on Him in our confusion and eagerness to grow. Sweet, that puts in perspective.
I think God knows my heart has a long way to go to be ready for Cambodia. But He's always teaching me, always working. And besides giving me a bigger heart for the women in Cambodia, God's inviting me to stop chasing details and put more faith in Him.
I thought I would try to break down as best I can what our lives and ministry will look like for my team in Cambodia...for all you people like me who love the details...
The basis of our ministry is casual relationship building with the women working as prostitutes in the bars. It's basically us going into the bars, hanging out with the women, playing games with them (connect four, cards, pool maybe?), and getting to know them. Think how radically different it will be for us to try to get to know them, love on them and care for them, rather than treat them as objects to be purchased and used. I love that we have the opportunity to show them the respect and love they deserve! I imagine our desire to develop friendships with them will be refreshing after how they are treated by customers and maybe even the bar owners.
As we build friendships with them and gain their trust, we will share about who God is and what He's done in our lives. And how He wants to offer them that same freedom and restoration.
We also want to offer the women a way out of prostitution, if they want to leave it. Many of the women who go into prostitution do so because they are obligated as daughters to provide for their families. It is not sex trafficking per se, but it might as well be considered that. Many of these women do not have the education or work skills to do other work, so their families encourage them to go into prostitution. Poverty is a huge underlying issue, among other social problems that lead families to selling their daughters into sex trafficking, or encouraging them to go into prostitution.
So how will we offer these women a way out of prostitution? We are going to be working alongside a faith-based nongovernment organization called Daughters of Cambodia, which reaches out to adult victims of sex trafficking. This is a place where the women can go to receive counseling, work skills training, and also find other employment. And they have an optional church service that the women can attend. Here they'll meet other women who are in similar circumstances and will be able to receive support from them. It sounds like they have a bakery business and jewelry business on site where the women can work. What I love about this organization is that they empower women to free themselves... "Daughters' vision is to empower clients with the internal capacity and the external resources to change their own lives" (excerpt from their website). I imagine their "empowering approach" really helps the women regain their sense of worth and self-esteem. I love that. I can't wait to see that at work!
Daughters of Cambodia offers a day center in an area of brothels (and probably bars too). This way the women have access to Daughters' resources while still living in their communities. I hope this means that our team can continue to minister to these women and maintain the friendships that we've made. Who knows...maybe that means inviting them to be part of our church community.
We are a team of 4 girls...
me, Amarja, Stephanie & Meredith
We all just met each other during training camp a few weeks ago in Georgia. It was great. I feel like each person brings something a little different to the table, but we are all passionate about ministering to these women and making the most of living in community with one another. And I'm encouraged by their hearts for the Lord and am definitely learning from them already! As of this week, there was an addition to our team...Stephanie (another one). She will be living in community with us, but will be doing a different ministry, ministering to the deaf community in Cambodia, which is pretty cool. So now we're a family of 5...I feel so at home. If you'd like to know more about my teammates, there are links to their blogs under my "links" section.
A bit about our sending organization, AIM (Adventures in Missions)...They're all about equipping and empowering people to go make disciples of the least reached peoples of the world. The founder of AIM saw a need for this ministry in Pnomh Penh (Cambodia's capital) so decided to create a "mid-term" team to go and start this ministry. We aren't walking into something completely established. Right now there is a guy named Michael who's kind of already started building some relationships with the women, ministering to them. He will be introducing us to the bar scene and handing the ministry off to us. After that, we will have a lot of space to be creative and take charge of the ministry.
what else what else...We'll be living with a host family, maybe a missionary family from the church we'll be plugged into. Our church will be New Life Fellowship, led by American Pastor Jessi McCaul, who has been in Cambodia for 15 years now. Their emphasis is outreach, primarily church planting. Hopefully we will be able to give back to the church community by teaching English or helping out in some other way.
For the first 3 months we will be doing language training with a tutor, learning Khmer (pronounced "Kah-my"). Should be interesting! Most Cambodians speak basic English, but it will be beneficial for us to learn their language. I went to Barnes & Noble the other day and read up on Cambodian culture...and I learned a phrase! "nam bai" (sp?) means "eat rice"! Yes, I'm ready to go to Cambodia now!
One of the first questions people ask me after I tell them I'm going to Cambodia and what I'll be doing there is, "isn't that dangerous?" Haha, like my optometrist today..."I mean you better watch out for the Cambodian mafia, you know" :) Yea, the ministry we're doing isn't the safest. I won't deny that it's dangerous to some degree. Sex trafficking is ugly. And on top of that we'll be in a foreign country...and we're a team of girls. But just to reassure you...no one has ever been harmed doing this kind of ministry. The bar owners don't come after us for taking away their employees. When we are introduced to the bar scene, we won't be going alone. I'm pretty sure we're in good hands. The connections we have with people in Pnomh Penh are going to help us learn the ins and outs that will help us ensure our safety.
Well that's all I can think of for now. I'll be posting more as I learn more. Thanks for reading!
